


You’re Stuck With Me, I Suppose!

by Geek_Bean



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), And writing in general, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, It gets better I swear, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, and writing gundham in character, dix is really bad at tagging stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-09-18 11:59:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16994601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geek_Bean/pseuds/Geek_Bean
Summary: Gundham refused to let people in...Well, maybe the princess could be an exception.(i swear this fic is still going i’m just really bad at updating)





	1. Chapter 1 - Emotions? Don’t know her.

**Author's Note:**

> i hate this but!!! my friend helped me with the prompt for the second half, proofread, and basically wrote sonia’s speech, you should check her out ;)) 
> 
> \- - > https://instagram.com/dang_its_ronpa?utm_source=ig_profile_share&igshid=18ked8lf9h0af

Writing advice to your younger self never seemed like it would be hard. The answer could’ve just been “don’t shave your eyebrows.” Except it was never that easy. 

Gundham never liked to think about the past. He would end up getting too caught up and would end up shutting down for the day. It wasn’t necessarily his fault; his life wasn’t among the best, but he didn’t manage his feelings well. All he knew was to hold his head high and push down everything but confidence. It got him through his mother’s cooking, after all. The very cooking he claimed poisoned his veins. 

God, you’re going to break down if you keep thinking.

His poor mother. She tried her best for Gundham, even after her family shunned her and she was left because of an illegitimate child. The devil shouldn’t have cheated to begin with. It was immoral to even the ruler of the underground. Maybe he only felt that way about it because it caused so much of her suffering.

Just write something down.

She loved Gundham with all of her heart. Maybe they couldn’t necessarily afford the luxuries of toys, but he kept his head up for her. He never knew why he fought so hard for his mother. Maybe beneath his facade he truly felt empathy. 

Stop. You look stupid.

The animals seemed to be the only other source of optimism. They couldn’t judge him, no matter who he was. He ending up hanging around animals so often that it became something that gave him a small sliver of hope. 

Write something down.

Maybe he related to the strays. They just wandered through their lives with nobody to care about them. Gundham always hated how it felt, and seeing the animals go through the same thing made him feel what he supposed could be called empathy if he knew human emotions. 

Someone’s staring. 

Maybe if he could give them the love he never got, he could find his worth through the taunts. Oh, the taunts. He never knew how he got through it all. 

Someone’s talking. 

Creep. 

Answer them. 

Weird. 

What are you doing?

Lost. 

“Gundham?”

He glanced up at his class, who were all holding up their boards with different pieces of advice. He never really went as far to say he hated things, but these “venting sessions” never seemed to end very well. 

“Are you alright?”

What was he doing? He had nodded before he even registered the question, quickly glancing at the other boards for something he could copy onto his board, his eyes suddenly falling on Sonia. 

The princess held her board proudly, confidence radiating like it always seemed to. Written in neat handwriting was “Save your firsts for someone special.” That would make sense, he remembered the.. embarrassing conversation he had with her.

Sonia tilted her head at Gundham. “Are you alright?” The question repeated, causing him to nod again and glance at his board to avoid embarrassing himself again. 

He didn’t remember writing “Don’t push people away” on his board. Maybe he copied it from one of the others without thinking. He also didn’t remember spilling anything on his board. Why was it wet?

Hesitantly, he raised his hand to his face and wiped at his eyes.

He wasn’t doing this again. 

“Gundham..?”

Aggressively wiping at his face he tossed the board to the ground, murmuring something along the lines of needing to check on the Devas. It was a horrible lie; everyone knew he kept them safe and sound in his scarf. 

“Gundham!”

He lost what little he had. He didn’t need to risk losing more. 

His boots clicked loudly against the floorboards as he pushed out of the room. The last time he was this nervous was when he had to hurry to the office to avoid a sports day. And..

“Please, tell me what’s wrong.”

No. He didn’t need people. They’d all turn on him one day. He learned the lesson time and time again, he wouldn’t learn it once more. 

The sudden outburst had obviously startled the class. Gundham never showed much more than overwhelming confidence, and seeing him cry was a first, let alone having to watch him slowly fall into panic. 

No one knew much of Gundham’s past, no one except Sonia. 

The princess stood worriedly in the doorway, watching the breeder rush off. After nearly a minute she turned around and walked to his board, picking it up off the ground and reading it to herself. 

Something about whatever he had written seemed to worry her, as she quickly set the board down and rushed down the hall after him. 

Sonia didn’t know how long she had been following the tapping of his boots, but soon enough they had stopped, with Gundham nowhere in sight. 

At first she thought he could’ve escaped to his dorm, but she realized he would have had to run in the opposite direction. That’d be impossible. 

She stood hopelessly in the hallway for a moment, before hearing a strangled noise nearby. It had to be Gundham; she’d recognize him anywhere! 

The princess glanced around, frowning at the lack of spots he could’ve been in. She almost gave up, until her eyes settled on the boys bathroom. 

That.. would make sense, actually. From the movies she had seen the bathroom seemed like a common place someone would hide after these sorts of things. 

However, the problem struck her as she slowly approached the door. She was a girl, and he was alone in the boys room! That’d be unwholesome and possibly damaging to her royal reputation!

Suddenly, her train of thought stopped when she heard the quiet sobs on the other side of the door. 

Those were Gundham’s sobs. 

The boy who seemed to be lost in his own world was hit with a crushing reality, and she was wondering how it could affect her reputation to go in there with him. 

She was the only person who knew anything about his life before Hopes Peak. She didn’t know vivid detail, but Gundham had grown up alone, to her understanding. 

Confidence overwhelmed her as she walked into the bathroom, making sure to keep quiet. She still didn’t know the severity of it, and she’d be damned if she made it any worse for Gundham. 

Boy, was she glad she had done that. 

She never took too much time looking into mental health until recently, but she knew enough to know whatever had happened was most likely due to panic and even a possible panic disorder. She couldn’t exactly tell the difference between the two, as she never had one herself, but she knew anxiety and panic attacks were about as bad as the other. 

“Gundham-“ She said softly, slowly approaching the breeder. 

Gundham looked like a mess, despite it only being a few minutes. He only seemed to tighten around himself, curled up in the corner of the bathroom. His nails dug into the back of his neck as he sobbed violently into his knees, lightly trying to rock himself like it would comfort him. 

Sonia focused on his nails first. She knew they were most likely blunt and couldn’t do much damage, but she had never really watched his nails until now. If he kept it up, who knows; he could draw blood soon. 

What did her parents do when she got upset as a child? It didn’t happen quite often..

Sonia slowly kneeled in front of Gundham and wrapped her arms around him, quickly grabbing his wrists to pry his nails off his neck. Hugs always seemed to make her feel better. 

What she hadn’t taken into account was how Gundham felt about hugs. He always rejected physical contact, after all. A choked noise came from him due to the sudden contact as he quickly shoved Sonia off of him, not noticing who it was or how hard he pushed. 

Luckily, Sonia had seen it coming, and was able to brace herself for it. Watching Gundham for a moment, she made sure he kept his nails out of his skin before scooting away for a moment. 

She waited patiently for Gundham to calm down, noticing the obvious rustling in his scarf. The Devas most likely knew by now what to do to calm Gundham down, considering she’d seen them rustle anytime something happened that seemed to freak out the boy. 

Occasionally she spoke up, softly whispering something along the lines of wanting him to let it out first. 

Sonia wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but all she knew was class had most likely finished by the time Gundham stopped crying. 

She waited for a moment until Gundham slowly lifted his head, resting his chin on his knees with a sorrow look, which made Sonia only feel worse for him. 

The princess slowly scooted back closer, leaving at least two feet between the ultimates, and looked at the breeder. 

Gundham stared back, his emotions too scattered to show one in his gaze. 

They were stuck in silence for a while until Sonia smiled softly and began to talk. 

“..I am not quite sure what to do here, but I hope you do not feel too awful..!” She started, watching the breeder’s gaze as she did, “If you are.. I believe in you! I do! You could take your own advice, and stop pushing away everyone! I know it is not as simple as that, it never is... but I would be delighted to be your first! I said it myself, your firsts should be special.. and though I would’ve liked my firsts to be special, I would be delighted to be your special first! Maybe we can bring out the best in each other!”

Sonia smiled widely at Gundham, who’s expression went from solemn to surprised. He wasn’t used to this, people usually told him to suck it up since he wasn’t the only one with an awful childhood. Not to mention the space the other ultimate left between them; people wouldn’t care if he told them to get off of him until he had to use force. 

The breeder stared for a bit before slowly scooting towards Sonia, a small sliver of a smile creeping up on his face. The princess stared in shock for a moment before hesitantly wrapping her arms around him, shifting so it would be more comfortable for her. Slowly, she pulled his head to a spot just above her chest, letting Gundham shift to whatever felt the most comfortable. 

Gundham hummed and wrapped his arms around Sonia, a sense of nostalgia washing over him as he tucked his face into her neck. His mother was the only one who ever hugged him with genuine love. He didn’t know how, but Sonia seemed to hug well enough to remind him of it. 

..Maybe he should listen to her. 

Soon enough he was clutching Sonia with all that he had, his cries muffled. She gently rubbed his back, resting her head against his until he could calm down. Even when it died down, he refused to move. 

Gundham wasn’t familiar with his emotions, that much was clear. So, obviously, when a warmth spread from his chest to his stomach, he was confused. It was far from a bad warmth, for sure, but it wasn’t similar to anything he felt before. 

He tried to think of different explanations. It only started when Sonia began to hug him, so that had to be the cause. He couldn’t have been angry with her; he invited her to hug him, and he certainly liked it. Sad felt cold and numb, this was warmth. Surely it was happiness, he knew it was a warm feeling. 

Still, it was intense compared to any other time. 

He snapped out of his thoughts feeling a small kiss being placed on the top of his head. The warmth all rushing to his face and the sudden speeding of his heart was enough to nearly cause him to push away. However, he resorted to glancing up at Sonia in confusion. 

The girl smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of her neck. “My parents did it for me, I apologize if I made you uncomfortable.” She said softly, which made Gundham hide his face back in her neck. “You feel like you’re burning up, are you alright?”

The breeder had been caught off guard once more, causing him to nod quickly. It was silent for some time, until a quiet rustling noise filled the air and something familiar crawled from his scarf to Sonia’s shoulder. It startled the princess enough to pull away, to Gundham’s dismay, but he simply watched in astonishment as the girl in front of him cradled Maga-Z in her hand. The Devas had only taken a liking to him before, where was this coming from?

He waited for a moment, before watching Sand-D crawl out as well and scurry towards her. 

“It seems the Devas have taken a liking to you, Dark Queen.” Gundham said clearly, despite the small waver in his voice at first. His strange feelings were throwing him off. 

Sonia smiled up at Gundham. She loved his silly dark nicknames for her. “I am glad to hear so.”


	2. Pretending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowowowowowowow i hate this

Gundham didn’t like parties. He especially didn’t like having to be so close to Kazuichi for so long. 

However, Fuyuhiko and Nekomaru seemed to be his best bet with how he was feeling. They both had girlfriends, after all. The weekly boys sleepover seemed like an easy way to talk to them without seeming desperate for answers. 

Still.. Akane and Peko seemed so different from Sonia. 

Which is why for a large portion of the night, Gundham stayed quietly in the corner with his knees held close to his chest. He didn’t know why he decided to suddenly come to a sleepover when he knew he couldn’t even bring up girls to them without tripping over his words and failing to say what he wanted to. 

Yet, the longer he waited for someone to start any talk about crushes, the more he lost hope. 

They talked about their week. They talked about the new classes. They talked about video games. Hell, they even ended up talking about the possible couples in a class only Souda knew people from. 

Eventually, the conversation slowly turned to Gundham. 

“Dude, you’ve been staring at us like a creep the whole night. What the hell did you come for anyways?” The voice of a (sadly) familiar mechanic piped up. 

The number of times Gundham almost broke character to tell him to shut up was far too high. 

“Not for a fiend such as you, most certainly. I have matters to discuss with only some of you morta-“

“Cut the shit, asshole. What do you want?” Fuyuhiko interrupted, earning a squint from Gundham. 

“..It appears someone may have claimed my hear-“

“Oh! He just wants to talk about the girls~” Teruteru chimed, once again earning a glare from Gundham. Still, he continued. 

“I have been thinking.. Many of them *are* single, and there are some who are into boys.” 

Gundham grimaced. Teruteru was always known for his lack of a filter for his speech. However, he didn’t quite pick up on what he was trying. 

“Peko and her-“

“Hey! Cut that shit out!” Fuyuhiko snapped, only earning a small smirk. 

Teruteru continued listing off random traits of some of the girls, earning uncomfortable glances from everyone. Finally, he landed on exactly what he wanted. 

“Sonia and those-“

Gundham nearly jumped from his seat hearing him begin with the princess’ name, immediately catching the attention of everyone. They all stared with inquiry, knowing that sudden of a reaction out of him didn’t come for no reason. 

“End this childish nonsense. It’s foolish to speak of S- the girls in such a manner, cease your—“

“So it’s Miss Sonia?” Souda hissed, returning the glare Gundham shot his way. Nekomaru tried to ignore the looks, sitting beside the breeder, who just scooted away. 

“Did you come for advice to ask her out then?” He asked, a chuckle mixed with his booming words. Gundham slowly shook his head and stared at his lap, going quiet for a second. It didn’t seem to bother Nekomaru though. He was a coach after all; even someone’s personal struggles were issues he met daily. 

“I.. am not familiar with mortal feelings.” He mumbled to himself, earning a laugh and a (rather hard) slap on the back. Gundham only scowled and moved farther away. 

“So you just need help figuring out how you feel, huh?” The conversation had moved on from Gundham at that point, letting him and Nidai talk more or less privately. 

Gundham only nodded as Nekomaru continued. 

“Just think about anyone you’ve known before.” 

He hasn’t had friends before.

“How you felt towards them.” 

No one cared enough for him. 

“If it feels like that, but more intense, it’s probably different.” 

They all betrayed him one way or another.

He must’ve said it out loud, because the room got quiet. Nekomaru stayed quiet for sometime, before moving Gundham to look at him. 

“Do you trust her?”

It was definitely out of the blue. Gundham only stared in confusion. 

“Do you think she’ll be the same as everyone?”

Gundham slowly looked down. Every instinct in his body said to say yes. Yet, he shook his head ‘no.’

Nekomaru only chuckled and pat Gundham’s back again, before going back to conversing with the others like nothing had happened. He only left Gundham with a couple words to think about. 

“How does she make you feel?”

He thought about his words quietly as talk bounced back and forth. 

Does he trust her?

No. He doesn’t.. she’ll be the same. She only pretends to like him. Pretends. Pretends pretends pretends pretends pretends pretends pretends. 

It repeated in his head until it stuck. Sonia pretended. 

Yet.. there was something that wanted him to say yes. He wanted to trust her. Badly. 

Her smile didn’t seem to match those who faked it. Almost.. genuine. 

Pretends. 

She cared for his personal space. She didn’t mind not being able to give him hugs. 

Pretends. 

She cared for Gundham in general. She made sure he ate properly when he didn’t even need the help. 

Pretends..

She showed interest in Gundham’s animals. She listened for however long Gundham was willing to go. 

..pretends..

She didn’t care that he acted strange. The emotional barrier he created after all these years didn’t scare her. 

...

Why? Why did she care? Did she want to get close enough to fool him? That had to be it. There was no other explanation for it. 

Surely. Surely Sonia was pretending for her own personal gain. But what did she want?

Besides. Sonia was a princess. She must’ve grown up having everything given to her before she even asked for it. What could she need from a breeder (who was, still, a teenager) that grew up not even able to afford the luxury of toys?

Surely.. she just wanted to look nice. Maybe even brainwash him to do things for her. 

Gundham shuddered. No matter what his brain could convince him, Sonia trying to get him to do her bidding was by far the most unrealistic. And yet.. it still gnawed at him. He just wanted an explanation for why she would pretend to be his friend. 

That damn word. Pretend. Pretend. Pretend. Pretend pretend pretend pretend pretend pretend pretend pretend. Why couldn’t something nice be true for once. The one good thing in his life went away, and nothing ever filled the growing void in his heart. 

And nothing would. Everyone betrayed him, and everyone will betray him. 

He wouldn’t let Sonia do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is. bad


	3. Help? No.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is by far the worst thing i’ve written

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i! have! fucking! writers! block! or! some! shit! yet here i am planning another story

Okay, Gundham lied last chapter. 

But it wasn’t his fault! Sonia had just.. asked him so nicely to accompany her to lunch that he he was blinded of her true intentions..

Yeah.

So here he was, waiting in front of the school for the ever so familiar voice to call him name cheerfully. It gave him time to think it over. 

It wasn’t like he could just cancel now. That was for sure. Sure, faking a friendship wasn’t exactly nice, but he wasn’t going to stoop to the same level. He was above it. 

..What if she wasn’t faking?

..

No, she had to be. Like everyone before had said.. no one would be his friend. 

..no one. 

...but-

The loud, familiar cheer of the princess ceased his thoughts as Sonia ran up to him. It was obvious she almost went for a hug, which had caused Gundham to tense, but she quickly skidded to a stop just in front of him. 

“I apologize for being late!—” Actually, she was about 5 minutes early— “I ran into one of the kids from the new class! The hall monitor! He even agreed to talk again sometime!” God, she had such a bubbly attitude about everything. 

Gundham wasn’t sure why his heart sunk at the statement. Surely.. surely he just didn’t want someone in the same boat. 

..Jealousy? No.

Never. 

..

Gundham only hummed a quiet response and smiled a little at Sonia, before turning on his heel to begin walking. The princess followed quickly behind. 

“I believe you said you had somewhere in mind to eat? May I ask where it is?” She said, staring up at him with.. interest?

“An establishment only fit for a being such as I.. The journey is not far, but I would suggest we took some form of transportation... for you, Dark Lady.” Gundham replied cryptically, hearing a light giggle out of Sonia as she nodded. 

Feeling his heart speed up, he thought of Nekomaru’s comment. 

How did she make him feel?

..Awful. 

It seemed that whenever Gundham was around Sonia he felt sick. His face would heat up with every giggle and compliment she gave him, his heart nearly skipped a beat anytime she played with his hamsters, he could hardly think correctly with the little things like her inquires over if he was feeling okay and if he was taking care of himself (especially after the incident nearly a week ago).. not to mention she plagued his thoughts every hour of the day.

Surely it was her doing. 

He’d been thinking for so long that when he noticed a large crowd he stopped dead in his tracks. 

Right, it was noon. Surely there were tons of people at the station. Gundham usually went earlier, so it was easier to avoid all the people. But later in the day.. it was practically impossible. 

“Gundham, are you alright?” Sonia asked, looking up at him. Gundham nodded quickly, which clearly didn’t comfort Sonia as she looked towards the station. 

...Right, he hated crowds. 

“Oh dear.. we can walk, if you would like to avoid this,” Sonia said quietly, looking worriedly at the breeder. He merely swallowed and shook his head. 

“I am the Overlord of Ice. I can conquer any obstacle that may come my way,” He said proudly, earning a small smile from Sonia, “And.. it would be a long walk for a mortal as yourself.” 

No matter how confident he tried to appear, it was obvious he didn’t want to. But from what Sonia could tell, the walk would be too long for them. So she gently reached for Gundham’s hand, letting her delicate fingers gently brush against his bandaged ones. 

Gundham’s eyes widened as he felt the warmth, freezing in his spot. The princess waited for a small moment, before slowly retracting her hand. However, the breeder was quick to grab her hand again, tugging his scarf up. 

“I advise we move quickly.” Gundham murmured, earning a nod as Sonia began tugging him along. 

It took about as long as you would expect a crowded subway station to take. 

Sonia tried to make it quick. She knew Gundham probably wouldn’t be able to hold his ground very long in a situation like this. But it wasn’t like she could force her way to the front of the lines, even if she was a princess. 

Not to mention the people staring because of their school uniforms. Hopes Peak was a very well known school—to be wearing the uniform in public meant you were bound to be noticed. Gundham hadn’t thought about that until now. Yet, this felt unavoidable. His other clothes were quite eccentric anyways.

Sonia gently squeezed Gundham’s hand as comfort, looking up at him. “Are you feeling alright?” She asked, only earning an unreadable look from the taller of the two and she got their tickets. 

After getting their tickets, Gundham prayed it’d go smoothly from there. Of course, the universe screwed him on the daily, and quite the opposite happened. 

The pair had almost made it to the train when a (rather rude) man barged in between them, knocking their hands apart. The blonde man hissed something under his breath as he was followed by an eccentric red haired boy and his crew of.. peculiar friends. All he could tell was they must’ve gone to a rather prestigious school as well. 

He’d been so distracted by the group of colorful haired teenagers that by the time he turned to look back at Sonia, the crowd of students had filed in between them. This was by far the worst time for an entire god damned class to return from god knows what. 

Gundham made a quiet noise of discomfort, trying to inch his way through the crowd. His train wasn’t there yet, he still had time. The chatter was slowly getting all too loud, and the constant pressing against him was starting to feel like it burned through his clothes. By now he could hear all of it, from the cheerful voices discussing, to a high pitched screech of (what he could assume) was out of some sort of pain, and a gruff voice saying.. something.

He didn’t know by now, it was just too loud. It felt like he could hear everything, but it was muffled like he was forced underwater. 

It was overwhelming. And Sonia wasn’t there to help when it got this bad. 

Why would he rely so heavily on her? If he had managed to get this far after the only other person he could rely on was gone, why did Sonia consume his thoughts all of a sudden? It was.. almost aggravating. 

In his head he felt himself think it over. What did he used to do?

Soon enough he was pressing his nails into his arms, hard enough to draw blood if he went on long enough. It was enough to ground him, enough to get a whiff of the conversation around him. 

“Isn’t that the Hope’s Peak uniform!? What’s someone from there doing here?”

Gundham already felt panic rise again as he stared at the ground intensely, his nails digging deeper.

“Not sure. Probably heading somewhere. I feel like I’ve seen him before though. Don’t they always post who made it into the academy?”

He didn’t waste time listening to it. Hearing someone mutter about looking it up he glanced at the group of teens. They looked innocent enough; they surely didn’t know how they were affecting him. However, the split second of eye contact with the tall, blue haired boy, was enough to make him rush away and begin his search for Sonia again. 

The train almost made it to the station before he even got an idea of where she could’ve been. He had checked his phone feeling it go off in his pocket, seeing the message from Sonia. 

‘By the bench with the guy in all black on your left.’ 

He looked up, scanning the benches, before hearing another ping. 

‘Your other left, Gundham.’ 

Gundham almost laughed at the message, looking in the other direction. His eye scanned over each bench, cursing how vague the message had been. Everyone wore all black these days. 

Eventually his eyes fell on a bench with a man that most likely led the class of rowdy students, looking tired as ever. Hell, he looked like he was sleeping. 

..Was he?

The breeder shook his head, focusing on the girl sitting on the opposite end of the bench. The blonde hair with a black bow in it called his attention, and soon she had smiled and waved at him. A heavy sigh of relief left his lips as he made his way over, sitting beside her with a forced smile. The princess understood, slowly intertwining their fingers. 

The awful feeling rushed back to Gundham as his heart skipped a beat, his face heating up as he looked away. Yet, for some odd reason.. he wanted to savor it.

Of course, those students were persistent. 

“See! I told you, he was just on a date.”

No— no he was not. Sonia was his friend. 

“Awe, that’s cute.”

..Friend. Not really, but his friend nonetheless. 

“You should not butt into anyone’s personal lives! Enough of him is put out there, it’s highly disrespectful-!”

God, what he’d do to get them all to shut up. He squeezed Sonia’s hand, receiving a worried look. She heard the conversation too, but it didn’t seem to hit hard like it did to Gundham.

The princess stared down the group of teens, the piercing glare enough to get the message across. The sudden cease of conversation astonished Gundham, who was only able to merely stare in.. something. Admiration, perhaps?

Either way, he had to force himself not to stare in awe, instead focusing on running his hands over the cloth on his clothes. He didn’t know why it felt as calming as it did, but it helped relieve some of the anxiety. 

He slowly glanced back up again, immediately regretting it. 

Sonia had distracted herself with her phone for the time being, not noticing the attention they were getting. The group of students were staring on silently, and it felt like the stares would burn through his shirt at this rate. He quickly looked back down again, trying to peek at what Sonia was doing.

He hated the feeling of someone watching him. He squeezed the princess’ hand, looking up at her in a slight panic. She looked back over at the group, shooting another warning glare. The group finally dispersed, not wanting to start anything between them.

Gundham sighed heavily as their train pulled into the station, standing slowly. Today had already been draining and they hadn’t even made it onto the train yet. Sonia looked up at him in concern. 

“Are you sure you still want to go?” She asked softly, “Now’s really the last chance to go back..”

The breeder rapidly shook his head, despite preferring the latter. 

“Not even the strongest forces of nature herself could stop the great overlord of the underground!” He declared, pulling her along to get on the train. Sonia only giggled and followed. 

They luckily managed to find two seats beside each other, albeit a bit cramped, but Gundham managed. 

As the train began moving and chatter moved around through the cart, the princess looked up at Gundham. 

“Have you ever considered looking for help?” She asked softly, “Not to be rude— it just.. seems like you’ll only hurt yourself at this rate.”

He frowned and looked at the floor for a moment. He never considered needing help. 

Yes, he could admit his anxiety was getting out of hand, but he’d been told to suck it up so often he felt he could’ve had it worse.

Not to mention he wasn’t the most financially stable growing up.

Gundham simply shook his head. “As I said, no matter how angry the elements of nature become, nothing will move the great Gundham Tanaka!” He declared, getting a smile from Sonia. 

“If you insist, I suppose..”

The breeder frowned at her tone. Why would she be disappointed in him? He just declared he was able to hold his own. 

..Could he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was gonna be the actual date but i got carried away and didn’t want to make the chapter too long so next chapter is the date thing


	4. Date?

Sonia had stayed silent for a lot of the train ride. She knew what she asked had bothered Gundham. 

She stayed quiet as they got off the train, though she did grab onto his hand again seeing a crowd of a similar size to the one at their first stop. 

She stayed quiet as they walked down the street and let go of one another’s hands, though it had felt surprisingly nice holding his bandaged hand. 

But when they arrived at their destination, she blurted out her first thought. 

“I didn’t know you liked cat cafés!” She cheered, looking up at the red faced boy who only pressed his face into his scarf. She smiled and marched in, watching Gundham follow behind her. The worker obviously recognized him, smiling widely. 

“You haven’t been here for a while, nice to see you again,” He said tiredly, “I see you’ve also.. brought someone.” Sonia waved excitedly, earning a quick laugh. Gundham didn’t look as amused. 

“I would like to request that you refrain from speaking to me like that, unless you’d like me to-“ Gundham started, interrupted by the wild haired man. 

“I’m going to stop you right there, normal thing but with another person, got it. I’ll get you a table,” He said, heading off. Sonia frowned. 

“Do you not like him?” She asked, looking up at Gundham. He shook his head. 

“We are familiar with one another. While his company is not as bad as the fiery pits of hell, he does attempt to prod me about.. romantic relations. However, nothing will move the great G-“

“I got your table. Follow me,” The man in question said, smirking, “Oh, sorry. Did I interrupt something important?”

Gundham pursed his lips and followed the brown haired boy, who led them close to a window that had a nice view of the street outside. Sonia smiled. 

“Thank you!” She said cheerfully, sitting down quickly. The waiter smirked.

“So, following the ‘emo kid gets stuck with an overly cheerful yet lovable kid’ trope, I see,” He said confidently, walking away before Gundham could retort. He sighed and sat across from Sonia, noticing a cat already approaching. 

He didn’t know if it was the excited look on Sonia’s face or the warm feeling in his heart when he thought over the waiters words, but he felt compelled to impress her with this.. “date.”

The breeder slowly leaned down closer to the cat, holding his hand out. It took a few moments, but the tabby soon rubbed against it. Gundham smiled triumphantly and he sat up again, letting it hop into his lap as Sonia gasped. 

“Wow! How’d you do that? And so easily too!” She said excitedly, a light red dusting over Gundham’s face. He just hoped it was subtle (which it wasn’t, made obvious by Sonia’s quiet giggling).

“Why, I’ve dedicated years of my life to conquering every creature of this earth! A mere cat can do nothing to me!” He announced confidently as it hopped up onto his shoulder. The princess watched in admiration, a determined smile appearing. 

“Teach me how,” She said in an equal tone, causing Gundham to choke on his words. It was easy to get her approval, surprisingly, but he hadn’t expected this. 

Oh well, he can make do. 

Gundham nodded and looked around, waiting for a cat to approach as he explained it to Sonia. “A feline’s trust is only bestowed upon beings who they feel truly earn it. If you remain tranquil and allow them to judge you on their own, they may allow it.”

Sonia frowned a bit, watching as everyone else struggled to get a cat to stay as long as Gundham’s had. The breeder noticed and sighed, slowly tugging his scarf up. 

“I believe in you, Dark Queen,” He murmured, just barely loud enough for Sonia to catch it. She looked over at Gundham with wide, twinkling eyes as the beautiful smile returned to her face. 

“Thank you,” She said softly, her attention shifting to a tuxedo cat walking by. It was obvious the princess attempted to copy Gundham’s moves from how she bent over to be eye level with it, which only caused his heart to speed up as she held her hand out. 

The cat stopped for a second, scaring the girl that she had scared it. However, as it sniffed her hand and suddenly rubbed against it, she grinned brighter than Gundham had ever seen before. 

And all at once, it clicked. 

Why he felt awful around Sonia, why he felt so attached to her, why he would almost cherish their conversations, why she plagued his thoughts day and night, why even small things made him feel like he was on fire. 

He loved her.

Love was always an interesting concept to Gundham. Love could bring together the purest of angels and the evilest of spirits, he knew that too damn well. Sure, he’d have his tiny crushes here and there which usually went away in (at most) a month, but he never believed the burning passion for one another that caused them to want to spend their entire lives with the other actually existed.

But that smile. The bright smile that made his stomach do flips, his heart flutter, his face turn bright red, the list could go on. 

Sure, he wasn’t just attracted to the smile. The princess was beautiful from the start. Her personality almost perfectly balanced his out. She cared about him. But because of that one bright smile he realized it all. 

That beautiful smile. 

He could go on forever about it. He was almost stuck in the moment. 

If he could ever make her smile that way. 

And it all suddenly came back.

He could never make her smile that way. 

She probably didn’t want to be his friend. He was weird, a creep, lost, the list could go on. Even if she somehow did want to, she could never love him back. There’d always be someone nicer, easier to talk to, funnier, prettier..

Someone who could do what he couldn’t. 

But as she slowly sat up with the cat in her lap, his decision was set. 

He couldn’t give up. 

Sonia watched with inquiry as Gundham seemed to be lost in his own world, thinking as the cat perched on his shoulder hopped back into his lap. He absentmindedly pet it, the soft fur running surprisingly smoothly against his bandaged hand. She smiled a little at the sight. 

Sonia knew no matter how confident Gundham would act, he’d always be a big softie. She looked down at the cat in her lap, gently stroking along his back as she shut her eyes. The smell of coffee, the warmth of the cozy cafe, the comfortable silence between her and the boy across from her, and the feeling of soft fur between her fingers was by far one of the most calming things she’d ever felt. 

As the waiter finally got to their table and they ordered some simple coffee, Sonia watched Gundham’s cat walk off. The breeder watched her leave, before looking around for the next cat to join him. 

Sonia thought for a moment, staring at the cat in her lap. 

“How often do you come here?” She asked suddenly, not noticing the surprised look on Gundham’s face at the sudden question. 

“...Whenever hell plagues my mind, I try to banish it by coming here,” He muttered, watching Sonia decipher what he said in her head. 

This was clearly somewhere he felt safer. She could tell why, too. 

“..Would you mind me accompanying you more often?” She continued, waiting for a response. Gundham was quiet, before nodding quietly. 

“...I’d like that, she-cat,” He said as he watched a cat suddenly jump into his lap. The princess giggled at the new nickname.

She stopped with the questions for a moment, trying to think of something else to ask that wouldn’t seem too personal. Her gaze slowly drifted down, falling onto his left arm. She knew it was most likely personal, but she blurted it out before she could think it over. 

“Why do you bandage your arm?”

Gundham stopped for a minute, a frown appearing on his face. It worried her that she had struck to close to home, but before she could say an apology he stopped her. 

“They hide the marks of those whom I have conquered. It may be too.. revolting, for your mortal eyes,” He said, his heart fluttering at her rather cute head tilt. 

“I‘m sure it is not too awful,” She said, though she decided not to pry. Gundham, however, looked down at his arm before moving some of it out of the way. It was enough to show a couple scars, which were clear bite marks, deep scratches, and others Sonia decided not to ask about. Instead she carefully grabbed his wrist, pulling it slightly closer so she could see better. Gundham nearly choked feeling her brush against his wrist, silently tracing a claw mark. 

The day continued on slowly as the two chatted, petting the cats as they came and went and sipping their drinks quietly. Eventually Gundham proposed leaving, seeing as it was getting dark and the cafe would be closing soon. 

They started walking down the street, watching quietly as the sun began to set. Sonia offered looking around for a while, considering they had no curfew and they were by some shops, so Gundham obliged. Neither of them really wanted or needed to buy anything, they just wanted to extend their time together. 

It proved to be their downfall, though, as Sonia was beginning to hug herself and shiver. It occurred to him that she hadn’t taken her jacket, and they were in the middle of January. 

He thought for some time as she continued to stay quiet, eventually thinking of something. He quickly removed his jacket, offering it to Sonia. The princess looked over at him, noticing he only had a black shirt and his scarf as protection against the cold. And that he was surprisingly muscular under all the layers, but that wasn’t the point. 

“I can not take that from you! You’re not wearing enough underneath!” She protested, stopping their walk to scold him. Gundham squinted, before settling the jacket on her shoulders. 

“If you can not take it, then I will bestow it upon you with my own two hands,” Gundham said simply, continuing to walk. Sonia was quick to catch up, though her thought process took longer. She was still in shock from how.. smooth that was. 

Instead of saying anything she slowly slipped it on, smiling softly from the warmth. It hadn’t been exactly like the smile in the cafe, but it still struck him as a win. 

And at the exact moment four things scurried onto her shoulders and scared the daylights out of her, he realized he forgot the Devas. Gundham reached out to try and take them, only to notice Sonia’s expression faltered from that of fear to the bright expression he adored. He slowly backed off, letting them sit on her shoulders peacefully. 

Maybe, just maybe, he could stand a chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is my gundham dialogue getting any better


	5. Confession?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck, i’m alive.

Gundham has plenty regrets.

 

Most of which are big ones, but right now his biggest regret was the chocolates in his bag.

 

Long story short, Nekomaru had coached him through how he was supposed to get Sonia to “be his.”

 

(He never quite understood that phrase. Why would you ask someone to belong to you?)

 

The basics of it was to get her something nice with a bouquet and ask her out with the presents.

 

(What was the point of giving someone flowers? You’d have to watch a romantic gesture slowly die.)

 

The best way to do it was a romantic setting.

 

(How do you make somewhere romantic?)

 

White day had been a month away, which gave him time to plan after Sonia got him something for Valentine’s day.

 

(But would it be too much to give her something if she didn’t give him anything?)

 

..Was he overthinking this?

 

(What? Of course not, it’s just the biggest decision he’s made in his life.)

 

God, he needed to rethink this again.

 

(Yes, yes he did.)

 

Gundham sighed quietly and felt the box of chocolates through his bag, thinking to himself.

 

Was he overthinking how Sonia gave him chocolates separately from the rest of the class? What if she had simply forgot about him and decided to give them later? He wasn’t even sure of the quality compared to the others she gave some to.

 

Would she even like flowers? Does she even want a present? What’s romantic to her?

 

...

 

Asking someone out is hard. Why’d nobody tell him this?

 

Gundham sat back for a second, his head hung backwards as he stared at the ceiling. Mikan looked at him with concern from the seat behind him, working up the courage to ask him something.

 

“Um- A-Are you alright?” She asked meekly, getting Gundham to look at her the best he could without turning around. The look on his face was probably too angry looking, since she shrieked and began apologizing. Gundham shook his head, interrupting her.

 

“Hell itself has risen, and I know not how to handle it,” He said simply, watching Mikan pause to understand.

 

“..W-What exactly is h-hell? W-wait, that might be t-too intruding I’m-“ Mikan started, only getting Gundham to stop her halfway through again.

 

“...An angel has taken my demonic heart, yet I don’t know how to take her’s,” Gundham frowned, “She’s.. a mystery.”

 

Mikan smiled ever so slightly at this, lightly patting Gundham’s hair. He flinched lightly at the contact, which made her pull away as she spoke, “I-Is it Sonia?”

 

Gundham froze, blood clearly rushing to his face. “That matter is.. private.. information..” He murmured, his mind suddenly blanking.

 

He was _that_ obvious?

 

His head flung up again as the door opened, almost colliding with the nurse. She shrieked and fell backwards, of course landing in a.. less than ideal position.

 

Gundham, of course, was quick to turn around and help get her up, mostly used to the odd positions she managed to fall into. Nevertheless, it didn’t fail to throw him off again.

 

If anything, though, he was grateful. He didn’t want to feel too attached to Sonia, but he couldn’t help but feel concerned by how late she had been. She liked to be incredibly early, but class was almost starting and she was still nowhere to be found.

 

Just as the thought crossed his mind, some god above must’ve heard him because the ever familiar blonde skipped into the room, graceful as ever.

 

Except.. something felt off. He wasn’t sure what, but she just looked.. different. It was almost unsettling for a moment, but he couldn’t help but stare dumbly as she took her usual seat next to him.

 

Luckily, he didn’t have to start any sort of conversation as Sonia began to chat his ear off as usual.

 

“I’m sorry I’m so late! I took a while with makeup this morning and didn’t see the time until it was late! And then I bumped into Souda on the way here and he stopped me to hand me chocolates, which honestly tasted wonky, so I was even more late! And I couldn’t run because that hall monitor kid I’m friends with was patrolling around for a while and I didn’t want to be rude..” She rambled, not noticing Gundham blanking right in front of her.

 

All he managed to catch in that was “late” and “makeup,” and it all suddenly clicked at once. Right, that’s a thing people wear. That’s why her face is different looking. Is making it look like you’re blushing a thing with makeup? Surely it is, she doesn’t blush to begin with very often. But he’d be lying if he said she didn’t manage to look cute.

 

“Gundham?” Oh, right, she’s talking.

 

Gundham blinked and looked her in the eyes, seeing the confused look on her face. Oh, she totally knew he was staring. Great! He’s never going to confess-

 

“You’ve never seen a girl with a lot of makeup on, have you?” She asked with a small giggle, and god if that didn’t send him, he doesn’t know what would.

 

She was right though. Sure his mother had worn some now and then, but she couldn’t quite afford it often with how expensive everything was. He’d seen girls in movies, along the street, and even at school wearing loads of makeup but.. never talked to one. Especially not one who he was planning on asking out.

 

The breeder simply shook his head slowly, opening his mouth to say something and promptly shutting it. He repeated the action a few times, before just settling on keeping his mouth shut. Sonia giggled again watching him struggle to say something, twiddling her thumbs in her lap. Finally, Gundham managed to say something.

 

“Would you mind accompanying me to lunch after classes, Dark Lady?” He asked as confidently as he could, watching a smile stretch over her lips.

 

“Of course! And would you mind if I stopped somewhere while we were on that side of town? I’ve been meaning to go!” She responded cheerfully, not noticing the wavering look of confidence on his face as he nodded.

 

Yeah, he was definitely going to screw this up somehow.

 

The thought continued to bounce around his head throughout the day (not even hitting the fucking corner smoothly, damn). He was continuously feeling the box of chocolates in his bag, always worrying it had managed to slip out somehow.

 

And as the end of the day crawled nearer, the higher his anxiety managed to spike. It may have been the second most nervous he’d ever been, but that’s a different story.

 

He couldn’t help but sneak glances at Sonia all day. He doubted this would work, but.. she could be his partner by the end of today.

 

He’d never been very interested in love to begin with. Love was what had torn his mother down, and he was the outcome of it.

 

Well.. “love,” he supposed.

 

His father was never quite described as a good person in her stories. Dishonest, disrespectful, and definitely not loyal to anyone. A rich man, from what he heard.

 

And at first being in love with Sonia scared him—she was a princess and he was just a teenager who’d barely gotten by for a large majority of his life. It lined up with his parents. And yet.. Sonia was always revolted by the small stories he shared about his father. She claimed wealth was not something that should be let into her head. It’s why she wanted to come here anyways—to live like other teenagers. She didn’t want her status to bring her down to the same level as so many other people.

 

It almost felt like some sort of new beginning.

 

As the day closed to an end and Gundham walked quietly out to the front of the school, Sonia trailed behind with the same cheerful look she always had. He was still dwelling on this whole thing.

 

What was even to come if they did begin to date? She was a princess. She was supposed to marry someone wealthy, keep her family name going, rule over a country, live a life completely exposed to the public. Gundham had practically nothing to offer. He couldn’t even cook, for christ’s sake!

 

Would he still be worthy of such a high class position? No, probably not.

 

Did he want it? It seemed nice but.. scary. He couldn’t make Sonia go through so much just for him. He’d grown up in a situation where asking for lunch money seemed like he was burdening someone—and he’d suddenly be beside a girl who’s next in line to be in one of the highest positions in the world. It seemed downright wrong and uncomfortable.

 

But.. would he do it for Sonia?

 

...Of course.

 

He glanced at the girl again as they waited in the crowded station, who had been sitting peacefully on the bench while he stood beside her.

 

She’d done everything in her power to improve Gundham’s mental state. Her constant positivity was just a heavy emotional support pilar that he leaned on, although he worried he was always too much. Yet Sonia never wavered, even encouraging him to lean more. Hell, she’d done such a good job he was getting better at standing in crowded areas.

 

She was strong. Stronger than him, for sure. If she could do that, he’d be able to handle such a drastic change.

 

Besides.. it’d be worth it in the end. Just being able to hold her hand freely seemed like it’d be a high privilege. To be able to do things above that seemed like a distant fantasy. But he’d try to reach it anyways.

 

The train ride was calming. He thought to himself of all the possibilities, smiling a little as the princess lightly leaned against his shoulder, probably thinking he didn’t notice.

 

Maybe it seemed overwhelming, but.. he’d fallen in love with Sonia, not her circumstances. He’d fallen in love with her bright smile that stretched over her face and the optimistic personality that felt like a light shining through the dark. The smooth blonde hair he wanted so badly to run his hand through and the way she jumped on her toes slightly when overly excited. All the small quirks and odd interests, ramblings of various topics.. everything, really.

 

Maybe he wasn’t the most desirable partner for Sonia. But they were still 17, they had time before they had to deal with their consequences. They should at least make the most of it.

 

He continued smiling to himself as he followed Sonia along the sidewalk, having decided to go to the shop she wanted to see first.

 

His mind was at ease for a while as they wandered through the store, mostly not paying mind to anything. It was only when they reached the counter and he noticed the look the cashier gave her that something about what she had bought was.. romantic, in a sense. However, she’d pushed it into her bag before he could see what it was.

 

What if it was for another guy?

 

Was he too late?

 

Oh, who was he kidding, he had no chance.

 

..

 

Why was he trying to begin with? He was just.. well, Gundham.

 

The rest of the walk seemed to be some sort of blur of mindless chatter among him and Sonia that he hadn’t even been paying attention to.

 

He’d felt hurt before, that was definitely for sure. But that was mourning a loved one. This was.. Heartbreak? Yeah, that’s how it was described.

 

He went through the same old routine as they sat at a small seat near the window, a cat quick to sneak past Gundham’s feet and sniff at his bag.

 

Oh right, the chocolates.

 

Well, he’d given up at this point. There was no use in him keeping them. Sure, he could try to make the excuse they were just to repay for for what she had given him on Valentine’s Day, but it was just too obvious they were romantic. For gods sake, they were in a heart shaped box.

 

Still.. he’d spent a god fuck amount of time trying to make chocolate that tasted decent (somehow he’d managed to inherit the cooking skills of his mom, he discovered), he didn’t want to let it waste away.

 

Okay, maybe he just really wanted to give them to her.

 

Look, he knew he didn’t stand a chance, but Sonia herself had convinced him to take risks now and then.

 

He lifted the bag into his lap, paying no mind to the cat that was now trying to squeeze into his lap, and slipped out the box without catching Sonia’s attention.

 

Well.. destroyed box, now.

 

Gundham stared down at the box in horror, trying to think of how it’d happened when he was paying so much attention to it.

 

The last time he had checked on it was before the train, and it was slung over his shoulder on Sonia’s side so nobody could steal it while he was on the train.

 

..

 

Sonia had been leaning against him.

 

He sighed quietly and slipped them back in the bag, dropping it down to his feet. This wasn’t how any of this was meant to happen. But, then again, things never really went his way.

 

But.. he could still try something, right? He didn’t know what, but there had to be something he could do. He wasn’t going to give up. He’d gone far enough.

 

Said girl hadn’t noticed the disappointed look on his face, as she was playing with a cat at her feet quietly. He didn’t want to give her destroyed chocolate. Instead he settled for quietly petting the cat that insisted on sitting in his lap, staring down at the table.

 

The rest of it almost felt like a blur. He had spoke with Sonia like he had any other time, but he just felt.. out of it.

 

So, the confession hadn’t gone as planned. In fact, he hadn’t confessed at all.

 

But.. maybe he’ll have another chance..  

**Author's Note:**

> if gundham is out of character leave me alone i don’t like writing dialogue for him
> 
> also!! it’s his birthday i love him to death


End file.
